Now before you all have a go.. yes I am well aware of the sometimes ignorant and general stupidity of my words, but alas this is my blog and it should represent me... read on at your peril...

-- Start Rant --

So with a week off from work I'm having a lot of time to think about life and the way it should be going for myself, naturally it isn't already going in that direction or I wouldn't be thinking about it.

So what I want to do is travel, waste money, drink beer, have loads of stories to tell, meet interesting people, do fun stuff, live life really.

Then to the serious stuff. I'll need to fund this somehow, whilst I have plenty of cash laying about to support myself for a while, this is by no means a lasting supply, it will run out... then what? I need a sustainable way to travel and live a life of fun exciting stuff without seeing my bank balance disappear into the red and off the scale into infra-red or something.

So how do you make money whilst having fun and not selling your time for money? On this subject I am no expert however I do feel strongly that a person should never sell there life for cash, it seems silly, (I should know, i've done it for long enough) why should I be employed to work for someone, do my graft sell my time that I could be using to surf / ski / drink sangria and generally be young, why should I use that time to put money and new cars into my bosses life? I'll tell you what... I shouldn't, I therefore obviously need to find a way of not doing this, the obvious first step is to become the guy at the top of the food chain myself, does this solve the wider problem however? I've now just moved myself out of the rat-race, what about all those other rats who are now unhappy and working for me?

Well to be honest I just don't know, somebody at the end of the day has to be out in the fields picking the grain, or in the office answering the phone to some fat person in another office complaining about product xyz not being this or that.

-- Now the rant escalates --

Another thing that annoys me greatly in life is the government, i mean who do they think they are? They take my hard earned money in taxes and turn it into stuff i don't want, yes here in the uk we have this fabulously useful service called the NHS free healthcare for everyone, shame i'm young and healthy and don't need it, it's actually all the old people that use these free services the most, not me, tax them!

The NHS is prime example of waste, it's not a private company so nobody sees the need to cut costs or work more productively. There has recently been news articles slagging them off because they do not use technology enough, i mean what century are these people living in? up until recently, and i think they still do... they had paper records, yes records on paper in one specific surgery where all your lifes history was kept, great news if there is a fire.

So yeah, the government spends all this money on services that are half arsed and generally not very good. Why do they spend so much money? Because everyone has the government on, it's a well known fact that private companies abuse the government to get huge financial benefits, companies who lay roads and repair local council amenities are the worst. They all put in stupidly high prices so the government is forced to pay up, then they brought in this system where you have to bid "privately" against other companies for the job, this naturally leads to 2 problems, the first being shoddy work, no1 wants that and the 2nd being that the companies just talk to each other, decide who gets the job then all the others price themselves way out of the market so that company wins, still at a great price for them.

What can we do about this? How can we stop the government being ripped off and wasting money?

Well i recently heard that the government gives free day spa treatments to carers so they can go and treat themselves, my mum is a carer for her dad, she would still care for him whether she got a day-spa treatment every few months or not... why the wasted money here mr prime minister??

-- Turn back for your own safety --

The post office, here goes a proper rant. So a company that has been round for hundreds of years, i can't believe there are less letters and parcels being sent nowadays, the internet is this huge global shopping thing, where people buy products and they get posted to them, these products are big parcels that the postal office has always charged more for, they get delivered to the recipient and all is good. Sorry but how do you fuck that up? well they do.

On a few occasions recently i have been so underwhelmed with the services of my post office i've tried to get in contact with the chairman to give him a piece of my mind.

The 1st of such incidents, i get a note through the door saying they tried to deliver a parcel and i wasn't in, so i go to the sorting office to pick up my parcel, "oh we cant give you that one, it's not been processed yet" sorry, not been processed? it's a fucking parcel, go behind your little wall, its a box with my name on it, pick it up and give it to me, easy right? wrong!

The 2nd thing, i wanted to exchange currency at my local post office branch, great handy service, i want to get £150 worth of euros, now i don't carry £150 in cash around with me, i want to put it on my card, yet at the post office to put currency on your card you need to have photographic proof of id... now i don't have any at the moment as the police haven't given me my drivers license back yet (another long story about our shitty government i wont go into) so i cant get currency exchanged, but then i think, hang on, i can just get cash out from a post office like i can a cashpoint, so i do that, withdraw £150 from them and them use cash to get my currency, FUCKWITS! hello wake up - your. company. policy. is. fucking. stupid.

Now the last point on the post office, i recently sold an item on eBay, it's a computer and is worth about £600 i need it traceable online so i go to the royal mails parcel service, parcel force, fill out the forms, print the label, jobs a gooden right? Wrong! i drop the parcel off, i've got an online tracking number, i go to the website, try to find it... nothing, zilch, fuck all, so what's happened to my parcel, has it got lost in the system, or maybe i never posted it? Maybe it's a conspiracy, now what do i do? So i emailed them explained the situation, and got a reply apologising that they didn't come and pick the parcel up! They were never supposed to, the woman that replied to my email had obviously never read it in the first place, another classic example of piss poor customer service... oh... one more point, The post man came to our front door opened the porch just as i opened the inner door and instead of handing me the parcel he threw it on the floor at my feet, then looked up and said, oh, sorry... fucking moron, how dare you throw my parcel that i have paid to be delivered in one piece to my door!

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGH they annoy me so much! why do we allow these arseholes to carry on? we should demand more from them! How can they be screwing it up so royally?!

-- End Rant --

I would also like to point out, I am not an angry person, I'm merely a person who doesn't just "accept" life, life should not be taken for granted and we should not accept the "norm" just because it is has gained that unfortunate title!

--- Start Rant ---

Ok ok, this might not JUST be with women drivers but I've only ever experienced it with women ;-) and by all means don't think that this is the only gripe I have with women drivers, just hear me out on this point...

Take the diagram to the left, I'm in car 1, she is in car 2, I'm stationary, giving way, she's driving down the road, and can easily get past me, there's no cars behind me and no reason not to go straight through, but..

She pulls in to the space (number 3) and flashes me to go through! What the fuck?? Then when I went past she drove off, why would you do that?

Why? why? why?

--- End Rant ---

--- Start Rant ---

This woman is just such a bitch, I mean who is she? she's a nobody! and she's BBC front page news today. I have to say her agent is a fuckin miracle worker, but my god.

I think it just sums up what this nation is like, everyone is sooo interested in this nobody's life.

So she goes on a national T.V program is racist and offends 90% of the country, possibly the world, then she does this blatant publicity stunt to go on Indian T.V to say how anti-racist and great she is.

So by now the British population is back in love with her.. then oh wait, here comes the big one.. she conveniently gets cancer and now we are all meant to feel sorry for the racist greedy slag.

I wouldn't put it past her that in a few weeks we'll all hear that she's fine and it as really just a cheap and nasty trick to get herself out of the house before she says some other dipshit comment and gets herself lynched.

Anyone in this country who cares what this bint is doing should be shot!

--- End Rant ---

Yes people, it's true!

So you put your hamster in the microwave, turn the dial to 2 minutes, full power, hit start...

2 minutes later...
*Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep*
Meanwhile...
You opened the door after the first beep... you quite obviously know it's finished... why the need for all the other beeps?!?!?!? Ahhhhh it drives me crazy!!!

Things 2 think about - Part 1

If God did exist would he be financially rich?

I imagine he has had numerous poorly planned business opportunities but all have failed. A good example would be when he invested heavily into the pre-made toast market, inevitably the business went under, but god didn't give up, putting his "god powers" to good use he worked numerous miracles / publicity stunts to revive his failing company such as Jesus on toast and trying to lure in the younger market with Michael Jackson on toast.

Anyway, your comments are more than welcome... or not, whatever.

Again people amaze me with just how thick they can be. Basically I want to create a random string 8 characters long, a bit of google bashing gives me functions that are like 20 - 100 lines long, why people? why? here is my fabtabulous (and far better than yours) script for achieving this.

function random_string($length=8){
	$charset = array('a','b','c','d','e','f','g','h','i','j','k','l','m','n','o','p','q','r','s','t','u','v','w','x','y','z', 'A','B','C','D','E','F','G','H','I','J','K','L','M','N','O','P','Q','R','S','T','U','V','W','X','Y','X','Z','0','1','2','3','4','5','6','7','8','9','0');
	$chars = array_rand($charset,$length);
	foreach ($chars as $a=>$value){
		$key.= $charset[$value];
	}
	return $key;
}

See how easy it is people! Love you really

And while i'm ranting about stuff... comparing 2 multidimensional arrays, hello php? bah.. here's my very simple solution!

function array_compare($array1,$array2){
	return (md5(serialize($array1)) == md5(serialize($array2))) ? true : false;
}